Are you nervous?

This is probably the most common question that I've been asked.  The answer to this question is much more complicated than the time that a simple conversation allows.

Yes!  I am nervous!  I'm nervous about being in a new place.  But more than nervous, I'm curious, and I have some fears.  But the things that I'm confident in far outweigh my fears, and I'm trying not to get nervous about things that I simply can not know or assume before I move.

As I'm selling, giving away or packing everything that I own, it would be easy to question whether or not this is worth it.  That's an easy answer, though.  YES!  I can't wait to be with Martin, and start a life together with him.  I would rather be with him than have my stuff.

As I'm enjoying my "lasts" (eg. last time out for coffee with ______, or last visit at ___'s place, or last Sunday morning with the kids...) it is very easy to see why I've come to love this place so much.  How do I know this is a good thing, when I'm leaving so many good things behind?  This is where it's about faith.

There's a balance of confidence and faith in this adventure that I'm embarking on.  I know that I want to marry Martin.  I know that God is leading both Martin and I in our own lives, and He's made it very clear that he's leading us in this relationship together.  Because of God's leading in this relationship, I have confidence in the leap of faith that I'm taking.

However, this doesn't eliminate all fear from my mind.  What if I struggle a lot with the language?  What if I don't get along with Martin's family and friends?  What if I don't make new friends of my own?  What if ... there are SO many "what if's" that I could ask, but I'm choosing to be confident in what I know, and be patient, and tackle the unknowns as I discover them.  And by that time, I'll be tackling them with my husband!

Yes, I'm nervous.  Yes, I have fears.  But worrying about unknowns now does no good, and my confidence in Christ is much stronger than my fears.  I know that God is good and wants good for me.  I know that God is the center of this relationship.  I know that God has gone before Martin and I to bring us to this point.  I know that God knows all the answers to the "what if's."  I know that God is unchanging and faithful to His children.  Because of this, I have confidence that my faith in God will be what anchors me through this move.

Trusting God,

TL