The big deal about small talk

I am the kind of person that prefers a good, deep conversation to small talk.  One of my favourite parts of my former job was interviewing people.  It's a challenge (albeit a fun one) to figure out what questions to ask in order to learn something that you want to learn about someone.  I loved asking questions like "How did that affect you?" or "Why did you choose this over that?"  It's these kinds of questions that help you understand a more of a person's inner motivation and goals and desires.  It's these kinds of conversations that help you really get to know someone, or feel like you're known and understood.

When I first arrived here, it was a bit awkward to be in stores, or sometimes in public in general.  I look like I could be dutch, so why would anyone guess that I didn't speak the language.  (This post was how I felt when I first arrived.)  My first mission was to learn the basics.  "Thank you", "please", "How much does this cost?", "bicycle", telling time, colours, furniture... these are some of the first things I learned.  I felt (and still do, at times) like a child, because of the level of my dutch language.  That's not a bad thing.  This is how you learn.

As I've been paying more attention to the dutch language around me, and thinking in dutch sometimes, and communicating in dutch sometimes, I find myself really wishing that I could make small talk with people!  (I never thought I would say that.)  I wish I could think quickly enough to say "excuse us, he's just excited to see so many new things", or "don't worry about it", or "blowing raspberries is his way to  say that he's trying to talk to you" but even more than that, I wish I could joke with people (especially strangers.)  It's the little phrases like this, and short communication that help people decipher between a good or bad attitude.  [When using small-talk, or joking with strangers, I'm very aware that a small vocabulary or grammar mistake can change the whole meaning of a phrase.  I don't want to joke with strangers unless I know exactly what I'm saying, and know that it's correct and appropriate.]

I don't really care if people think I'm a serious person or if they think I'm funny or boring.  I don't care if they think I have a good attitude or not.  However, I think attitude is contagious.  If, while standing in line waiting to check out, someone cracks a joke or comments on something that everyone notices, it can really lighten the mood, and make things just a bit more enjoyable.

It only takes one person to start a "conversation", and it doesn't even have to be about anything special!  I just like knowing that even if you don't know people, it's still possible to make otherwise boring and monotonous things a little more interesting and fun, if you have the right thing to say, to the right person, at the right time.  This is when I wish I could be the person to make the right joke at the right time.

I look forward to the day when I can use small-talk appropriately and effectively.

15 things

I don't like:
1) humid weather that stimulates dust mites, and makes it a bit more difficult to keep laundry smelling nice.
2) seeing Canadian geese in the beautiful park in Barneveld.
3) the radiators (and connecting water pipes) in every room, that collect dust and make it impossible to do a quick thorough clean.  I still haven't figured out how to clean the inside of the radiators.
4) smelling the "fresh country scent" even before I leave the house some mornings.
5)  black carpet.  It looks really nice, but is it ever hard to keep clean!


I like:
1) finding feathers on my eggs occasionally.  Why eggs in the EU would be illegal in America and vice versa
2) paying less than 1 Euro for 200g of brie cheese.
3) having 2-4 weeks (only) of snowy winter.
4) being able to walk into the center of town in 15 minutes, or bike there in 5.
5) the simplicity that comes with having a small house.  ("Small" is relative, of course.  What would be a small Canadian house is an average, or even medium-large, dutch house.)
6) more moderate weather.  Spring and fall seem to be very long seasons here.
7) online shopping.  Oops!  A lot of websites or businesses offer free delivery (within a couple days), and I can often find better prices for certain products online.  It's also a bit more difficult to lug home a large item (such as a high chair or a big box of diapers) than it is to have it delivered to my front door.  Hello... this is a win-win situation!
8) eating bread every day, and knowing that it's fairly healthy.
9) hardwood & tile floors in the main living areas.
10) a good pair of all-purpose boots.

Balloon fiesta

 I feel like a real Barnevelder now.  I've experienced the annual "Balloon Fiesta".  This is four days where they launch a LOT of hot air balloons from the park each evening.  Here is what it looks like from around the neighbourhood:

And on Saturday, we went to the fiesta (or festival).  Martin wasn't thrilled about going, but I wanted to go, just to experience it, at least once.  We sat in the bleachers, and watched hot air balloons inflate, and take-off, while listening to an announcer give a play-by-play on the status of the balloons.  Ha!

If you look closely, you might see something a little unusual here:

Yes, these are people jumping out of the baskets!

Parachuting down, with orange smoke coming from their ankles...

And a small, hand-held balloon that we could touch... this is the backside of a bee.

I now understand why Martin wasn't thrilled about going, but I'm glad I got to go!  AND the best part was after dusk... the "lazer show".  They had 7 big balloons, and 6 or 7 small balloons set up, and "anchored" (with human weight, I believe) to the ground, as well as lazers set up around the park.  Anyone who knows how much I love lights may understand how much I enjoyed this part!  It was such a creative display!  I *think* the lights were supposed to be choreographed with the music, but I guess it's difficult when the sources are massive engines that are run by people who can't communicate with each other, and likely don't practise together.

That's a "woody woodpecker" hot air balloon in the middle... he came from Brazil to be part of this fiesta!

This certainly doesn't capture the experience, but it may give you a taste.  So cool!  I later discovered that they have done the lazer show for 29 years, and they have used the same music... for 29 years.  I really don't feel the need to go back again anytime soon, but I'm glad I got to exierience it :)

Milk

People drink milk here like it's going out of style.

Martin and I were at a friend's parents' house for lunch the other day.  The drink options were: halfvolle (1%) milk or karnemilk.  Of course we had tea and coffee after lunch, but milk only during lunch.  When we had lunch with his Oma and Opa, the drink options were: raspberry-flavoured yogurt drink, mango-flavoured yogurt drink, or plain milk.  Milk is not just meant to wash down your food, but it's meant to be enjoyed as part of the meal... and lots of it!

Karnemilk is probably Martin's favourite drink (it may even rival coffee.)  I have been scared off of this milk, because of the strange-looking streaks it leaves in a glass after being consumed.

I finally googled it, and discovered that it's the equivalent to buttermilk!  Seriously!?  Since it's so popular here, it's also really cheap (relative to CDN prices).  Bring on the baking!!

No wonder the Dutch are so tall :)

More differences

1) Going to the movies is a special way to spend the evening.  The women are dressed up, the cinema is very clean, and there's a pauze half way through the movie, for a 15 minute coffee break!  I'm guessing that the average adult would go to the movies an average of 2 or 3 times a year.

2) All public bathroom stalls are fully enclosed.  The doors reach the floor.  It would take some quantum physics for a child to play the "crawl out from underneath the locked door" trick.

3) Digit groupings are different.  There are a lot more "two digit" groupings here.  In Canada, we would give our phone numbers like this : 1-234-567-8901.  Over here, I give my number like this: 12-34-56-78-90.

4)  At the store, change is rounded to the nearest 5 cents.  If your bill comes to 1.97, you pay 2.00, and get 0.05 back.  0.01 coins are hardly used.   AND tax is included in posted prices... no surprises at check-out.

5)  Stop signs are scarce.  I apologize if I've written about this before, but it still shocks me a bit.  I think I know where one stop sign is in Barneveld.  But as I'm sitting here, I'm not 100% sure if it's a stop sign.   Instead of stop signs, you always know who has the right of way, slow down as you approach an intersection, be very alert to possible traffic (four-wheeled and two-wheeled traffic), and continue if it's clear.  No need to stop if there's no traffic.  This is actually quite nice, especially on a bicycle (stopping and starting on a bike just breaks the flow of the ride.)  However, it's actually dangerous if you stop  when you shouldn't, and I found it intimidating when I first started riding around town.

6)  Squeeges are probably the cleaning item of choice.

7) You only pay for phone calls that you initiate (no fees for "airtime" for an incoming call.)

8)  There are no fans in the bathrooms.

9)  Most "powder rooms" (1/2 bathrooms) have only a single cold water tap.  Every time I wash my hands, I think "wash with soap and warm water..."

10)  There are more doors inside the house, containing each living space.  This makes it easy to heat only rooms that are used during the day, and keep the entrances as buffer zones.

Directions

I still don't have very good bearings over here.  Whenever we drive through and out of town, I recognize everything, but I generally can't tell you which direction is N, and I don't know which way we should leave town when heading towards ____.  I often know "the fastest route from point a to point b" in town, but outside of the comfort zone of Barneveld, I'm useless.

I study my map (thank you google maps), but I still get confused.

There's a big difference in how the towns and cities are built here compared to North America.  In NA, most cities are designed like a grid.  Streets run East-West or N-S.  Of course there are some exceptions (like Hamilton Rd. in London, ON).  In Canada there are also a lot more areas of town.  While there may be a center, there are certainly other subdivisions that each have their own "center" as well.

Here, the cities are built around the center.  I think it's often a church that's at the center.  Most of the main streets in town start at the center, and head out.  Then, there is a "ring" around that-- a main street, that circles the center of the town.  Hardly any of the intersections here are 90 degree angles.  If you look at a map, it looks like a round (slightly deformed) pizza with a major road on the outskirts of town.  Take a look at Paris (France), Brussels (Belgium) or Amsterdam (The Netherlands) on googlemaps.  In Canada, we would say "head West on Commissioner's Rd., then go North on Wonderland Rd....".  Here, if you head North on one street, it's likely that you'll be heading East within a couple minutes, and you'll probably end up heading South shortly after that, mind you, I probably wouldn't notice, since I can't figure out the directions.

The same thing is true of a lot of highways.  In Ontario, we know that the 401 runs E-W (mostly), 400 runs N-S... etc.  But here, it doesn't work that way.  You either follow the signs towards the town of your destination, you know which highways to take, or you use a TomTom.  I think TomTom (or a GPS) is one of man's best friends over here... at least that's true of me!

Here's Barneveld on googlemaps, with the red arrow very close to the church that's in the center of town.  You can see the "pizza" much better with larger cities, though.

Cheaper buy the dozen?

I remember Tim Horton's advertising their snack wrappers as "$1.99 or two for $3.98!"  Wait a second... what kind of a deal is that?

In the NL, there seems to be no such thing as a deal for purchasing a larger quantity.

You want 1kg of flour?  $0.30    You would like 10 kg?  Buy 10 bags of 1kg = $3.00

If your one-way ticket costs $2.40, then your return ticket will cost $4.80.  Easy math.

If you eat at a restaurant, you pay for the food that you order (kids don't ever eat free.)

Sure,  there are sales at the supermarket for meat that's nearing the expiration date, or large bins of inventory that wasn't as popular as expected.  But that's to be expected.

I've actually been caught in this a couple times-- I bought a return train ticket, because I knew I needed to go both ways.  But it turned out that I got a ride the second way, AND I could have just as easily, bought one ticket just before each trip.  Ah, I think I've learned my lesson.

Despite the lack of "deals" here, I think most food is actually cheaper than in Canada.  At least a lot of fresh produce is!  I can get a little package (about 500g I think) of pre-washed and chopped veggies for 1 Euro.  Yes, that's about $1.30 CDN, but it's a  1/2 KG of washed and chopped leeks, mushrooms, red onion and red peppers.  Perfect to add to pasta sauce!  I get 1 kg of cheese for $4-$5 (Euros, of course, but I still haven't figured out how to make the Euro sign on this computer.)  I just found cream cheese for $0.60 for 200g!

I do miss the thrill that comes with getting a really good deal on cheese (when 500g costs less than $4... or even $5), or other foods.  But I do really like the fact that we don't keep months worth of food in the house, and we eat a lot of fresh produce.

The only downside, is that there are some products (mostly frozen products) that I can't find.  Their replacements are canned... like mixed veggies.  Peas or green beans just don't look as nice when they come out of a can.  They're also MUCH more expensive (and dare I say less nutritional... there must be some salt or preservatives in that can).  So, now my job is to figure out fresh substitutes for what I would normally use frozen.  I think I will always miss my frozen mixed veggies, though.

Fun in the snow!

(Beware, this is a long post with lots of pictures.)

It snowed.  Yaaaay!  It looks beautiful here!  This also means that Martin has no work- which is a nice treat for me :)  We went on a very last-minute ski-trip to Germany for two days of skiing.  

I learned that the Germans, Dutch and British have particular ways of serving their beer- specifically the foam.  The German way allows for this:

And of course, we had some schnitzel. 

We went to Winterberg, which is not in the alps, and it's not especially high, but it was skiing.  We had talked a lot about skiing since we met, but this was our first chance to ski together.  It was lovely!

And a little taste of the chalet- notice the German pub song.

It's beautiful here!

Then, a few days later, the snow followed us back to Barneveld.  But, even with this much snow, nothing stops people from riding their bikes...

Gas prices?

Everything about this picture is normal-- except for the snow. (That's 5 bikes together.)

The snow just adds to the beauty-- typical view in Barneveld: train car and bikes. 

THEN to top off fun in the snow, we went out to Martin's Oma and Opa's, and showed up JUST in time to be invited to join a sleigh ride!

And finally, I had to include some pictures of canal-skating!  And yes, I did join in on "Elfstedentoch fever", and I was disappointed to hear the ijsmaster announce that he had "geen goed niews".

In the park that's near our house.

The park

Beautiful in the summer and winter!

As we were driving along the highway in the Western part of the NL.  This was a beautiful, big canal, and I missed the best photo-op, but you can see some skaters if you look closely.

These "canals" are more like big ditches-- everywhere in town!  They're beautiful to walk around in the summer, and perfect for skating in the winter.  I think everyone in town could walk to a skate-able canal within 10 minutes... probably even 5.

I'm not sure if you can see in these pictures, but the most popular household skates here seem to be speed-skates, but I've also seen home hockey-style skates and figure-skating skates.  You know you live in a skating country, when they have a special word for "walking on skates off the ice" (klunen.)

I LOVE winter, and the beauty and peace that seems to accompany it, but can I say that I'm enjoying the lack of snow-shovelling, and minimal car-windshield-scraping, and I'm looking forward to spring!  (We saw some narcissus about 3 weeks ago... and the birds are chirping.)

Learning Dutch

I'm learning dutch.  I will learn to read, write and speak it.

There are some similarities between the dutch and english languages that make it seem easy to understand, and there are some similarities that make it a little confusing.   On a personal level, I'm really glad that I was enrolled in French Immersion throughout elementary and highschool.  I took two German classes in highschool, one French course in University, and through studying music I have become familiar with some italian.  I have always loved languages, learning the rules of a new language, and trying to perfect it.

As I've been trying to "fit in" here, I do like hearing dutch conversations, and sometimes, when a dutch-speaker is trying to explain something to me in english, they use the dutch word.  On several occasions, I've been able to figure it out because the word is related to a word in either english, french or german.  This has been really handy, but it's only a few words, and it doesn't help me communicate in dutch, it only helps me understand a little better.

Through this process, though, I'm discovering how little I know about the english language.  They say that you learn the most when you're the teacher right?  Well, before I came over here, I thought I would be the english-speaker who would be able to help some others speak english.  However, it turns out that  I have a LOT to learn about the English language.... shoot!  I know that in highschool, my teachers always joked that the French Immersion students always had the worst english grammar, and I'm sure I was no exception, but I am sometimes ashamed when I don't actually know the english word.  So I'm inspired to not only learn dutch, but also to improve my english vocabulary, and my knowledge of the english language.  I would have never expected that!  Anyways, that's for later; for now, I'm working on dutch.

For all the English readers, here's a game... it's called "guess the word."  NO google translate.... just guess!

Tips:

"v" is pronounced like the english "f"

"ui" in dutch sounds like the "ou" in "out"

"j" is pronounced like the english "y" as in "you"

Guess the word:

1) klok

2) huis

3) uit

4) vis

5) jong

6) eet

7) vrij

8) sok

9) onder

10) vader

11) Bonus: ziekenhuis

French-speakers:

12) paraplu

13) plafond

14) muur

German-speakers:

15) spiegel

16) kamer

17) slecht

Confusing things:

of = or

later = ago (in the past)

wil = wants

Oude en Niewe

I think that's what it's called... "old and new" or "happy new years!"

A few days ago I heard something that sounded like a gun shot... then a few hours later I heard another one.  Martin informed me that it was fireworks.  Martin says they're illegal, but a lot of young(ish) boys like to play with them... especially in December.  Yesterday there were a LOT more, and so far today (it's 3pm), there hasn't been a period of 10 minutes where I haven't heard one.  It's more like 5-10 a minute.  I'm guessing that this a signal of New Year's Eve.  This morning, I got to witness this "normal activity".  They're really more like little pieces of dynamite than they are fireworks.  I love fireworks!  But it's a bit strange to hear single pops of them, during the day, and not see anything.

As we were sitting, watching an episode of our favourite Dutch TV show, Martin started naming off the different kinds of fireworks that we heard... with a grin.  Haha.  I think I can picture him 17 years ago.

These are videos I took from our front bedroom window.  Notice the smoke in the second video.

But before all of that, I got to taste Martin's famous pancakes this morning.  So good!

A Different Kind of Christmas

*Yes, my blog did go on vacation, and we're back up and running now.  Thanks for the wake-up call Christl ;)  Also, I should mention that there are a LOT more things going through my mind that are not included here.  The main point is that it was a lovely and thought-provoking Christmas for me.  Now, you can read all the details if you'd like.*

Home is where the heart is.  Traditions are created with intention, for a purpose.  Normal is what is characterized by the majority.

These are three statements that I've been thinking about a lot this Christmas.  I've been asked "what's normal over there?"  I don't actually know what is normal for Christmas over here.  What's normal for Christmas in Canada?  I'm really not sure that I know that either!  I know what I have experienced, and I know how my Canadian family and Martin's Dutch family celebrates Christmas, but the reality is that each and every family celebrates in different ways.  "Christmas" means different things to each of us.  

Yes, I did miss my family this Christmas.  I missed staying up late on Christmas Eve to wrap Carrie's presents, I missed playing at our Christmas Eve service with Carrie, Joel and Mom with little-to-no practise, I missed watching Dad make stuffing, and cook the turkey, I missed playing endless games of Settlers, in our PJ's, I missed preparing a walk-way of candles with pop bottles, I missed the midnight walk, I missed the late-night kraft dinner, I missed the Christmas tree falling over, I missed spending time with my family... but things change.  I don't feel like I missed out on these things, but it's more that I look back and remember those moments with fond memories.  Those were the things that meant "Christmas time" to me.  Life changes.  Our circumstances change, and I was so glad to be here, celebrating Christmas with Martin.  We did not exchange any gifts, but it felt like a gift just to spend time with him.  I don't feel like I've missed out on anything by not exchanging gifts.

I realized this year that a lot of my family's Christmas traditions, and Canada's Christmas traditions are especially nice for kids.  And since Martin and I are "grown up", we wouldn't get the same excitement out of an advent calendar, or gingerbread house, as I certainly used to!  

Even though I don't want to seem to know what's "normal" for Christmas anywhere, here are some differences I noticed:

- turkey:  there's nothing special about turkey here.  In fact, when we went to the grocery store on Christmas Eve day, we had to ask the boy in the meat department if they had any turkeys.  He looked at us as if to say "now, why would you be looking for a turkey?"  He went to the back, and found one.  $26 Euros for a 5-pound bird.  We settled for chicken... which I stuffed.  Ha!

- gingerbread houses:  I didn't see one over here!

- stockings: nope!  I think they do the shoes-at-the-door here, during Sinterklaas, but no stockings at Christmas.

- candy canes:  didn't see any of these either.  Now, I wasn't looking hard, but I didn't just happen to see any, anywhere!  This includes candy cane ice cream.... I definitely missed that!

- stars: are hung upside-down... at least I saw a lot of them hanging like the photo below.  Can a star be upside down?

In a previous post, I mentioned that the Dutch have two Christmas days.  On each of these days, we spent time with family.  We went out to two very fancy restaurants (one with Martin's Dad's side of the family, and one with Martin's Mom's side of the family)- and everyone dresses up.  I'd say this is different from Canada, where we normally spend a good portion of the morning (or day) in our PJ's.

Gifts are not really exchanged here.  The fancy meal out and time with family is the gift.  And it was so nice!  It was really nice to not have the pressure of shopping, and choosing the right gifts, and getting it all done on a tight timeline.  It was so nice to just enjoy time together!

It was lovely to go to Doorbrekers on Christmas Eve for a 10:30pm service.  It was nice to go out for a bike-ride on Christmas day afternoon.  I realize that as newlyweds, everything is exciting, and just being together this year was a gift, but I'm excited to plan and create Christmas traditions with Martin in the years to come, and discover what we'd like to make "normal" for us.

Bicycles

I just got back from doing errands, on my bike, in the rain, and I thought it would be a fitting time to write about bikes.  All of the following statements are things I have seen or experienced while here in Barneveld.  I wanted to wait until I got a picture of each situation, but for the sake of time, I'm going to resort to google images for a few.


- Bikes come with locks on them.  When you lock your bike, it basically locks the rear brakes, so that it can't be ridden.  Before you start, you put your key in the "ignition", which unlocks the brake, and you ride with your keys in the bike lock.

-  Bikes are ridden by people of all ages.  I have seen two or three grey-haired people with walkers, and dozens riding bikes.

-  It's raining?  No problem!  You're welcome to borrow my umbrella!  (Picture from Google Images, but it looks just like it does here.)

-  A young child, just learning to bike is taught to brake by riding beside mom or dad, with mom or dad's hand on his shoulder, through town.    (picture from Google Images)

-  No need for helmets.  This means you can do your hair in the morning, and still ride your bike.  (The two pictures below are my pictures, from here in Barneveld, on a school morning.)

-  Kids have "Traffic" courses in school when they are about 10 yrs. old.  They also have a bike exam that they must pass (in school).  Since there are hardly any stop signs, it's important to know who has the right-of-way.

-  You meet up with your friends in town, and you want to "hitch a ride" with them?  No problem, just hop on the back of their bike!  It's just like the back seat of a car here, except better, because you get the wind blowing in your face, and it's a little more adventurous.

As I was searching for pictures, I found this website,  Bicycles in Amsterdam  which is almost exactly what I've been noticing, except I haven't noticed any of the big bike locks.

Bikes around here are worth a lot.  Since everything is so close, and the streets are not grid-like, in many cases it's actually faster to bike somewhere than to drive a car.  Take into account the numerous bike paths, plus the limited parking, plus the unlimited driving age... bikes are very valuable, regardless of how new they are, or how much monetary value they have.  If it gets you there faster than your feet would, then it's worth a lot!

-  One of the two bike-parking areas at one of the two train stations in Barneveld.  It almost always looks like this.  I think this is why people have brightly-coloured bikes.

Martin and I were given bikes as a wedding gift, and this has been most helpful!  Thank you!!  We went for a long bike-ride on Sunday afternoon, just for fun, and so far, I have done errands every day, on my bike :)  If you look closely, you can see my keys in the ignition :)

My detachable basket :)