The big deal about small talk

I am the kind of person that prefers a good, deep conversation to small talk.  One of my favourite parts of my former job was interviewing people.  It's a challenge (albeit a fun one) to figure out what questions to ask in order to learn something that you want to learn about someone.  I loved asking questions like "How did that affect you?" or "Why did you choose this over that?"  It's these kinds of questions that help you understand a more of a person's inner motivation and goals and desires.  It's these kinds of conversations that help you really get to know someone, or feel like you're known and understood.

When I first arrived here, it was a bit awkward to be in stores, or sometimes in public in general.  I look like I could be dutch, so why would anyone guess that I didn't speak the language.  (This post was how I felt when I first arrived.)  My first mission was to learn the basics.  "Thank you", "please", "How much does this cost?", "bicycle", telling time, colours, furniture... these are some of the first things I learned.  I felt (and still do, at times) like a child, because of the level of my dutch language.  That's not a bad thing.  This is how you learn.

As I've been paying more attention to the dutch language around me, and thinking in dutch sometimes, and communicating in dutch sometimes, I find myself really wishing that I could make small talk with people!  (I never thought I would say that.)  I wish I could think quickly enough to say "excuse us, he's just excited to see so many new things", or "don't worry about it", or "blowing raspberries is his way to  say that he's trying to talk to you" but even more than that, I wish I could joke with people (especially strangers.)  It's the little phrases like this, and short communication that help people decipher between a good or bad attitude.  [When using small-talk, or joking with strangers, I'm very aware that a small vocabulary or grammar mistake can change the whole meaning of a phrase.  I don't want to joke with strangers unless I know exactly what I'm saying, and know that it's correct and appropriate.]

I don't really care if people think I'm a serious person or if they think I'm funny or boring.  I don't care if they think I have a good attitude or not.  However, I think attitude is contagious.  If, while standing in line waiting to check out, someone cracks a joke or comments on something that everyone notices, it can really lighten the mood, and make things just a bit more enjoyable.

It only takes one person to start a "conversation", and it doesn't even have to be about anything special!  I just like knowing that even if you don't know people, it's still possible to make otherwise boring and monotonous things a little more interesting and fun, if you have the right thing to say, to the right person, at the right time.  This is when I wish I could be the person to make the right joke at the right time.

I look forward to the day when I can use small-talk appropriately and effectively.

15 things

I don't like:
1) humid weather that stimulates dust mites, and makes it a bit more difficult to keep laundry smelling nice.
2) seeing Canadian geese in the beautiful park in Barneveld.
3) the radiators (and connecting water pipes) in every room, that collect dust and make it impossible to do a quick thorough clean.  I still haven't figured out how to clean the inside of the radiators.
4) smelling the "fresh country scent" even before I leave the house some mornings.
5)  black carpet.  It looks really nice, but is it ever hard to keep clean!


I like:
1) finding feathers on my eggs occasionally.  Why eggs in the EU would be illegal in America and vice versa
2) paying less than 1 Euro for 200g of brie cheese.
3) having 2-4 weeks (only) of snowy winter.
4) being able to walk into the center of town in 15 minutes, or bike there in 5.
5) the simplicity that comes with having a small house.  ("Small" is relative, of course.  What would be a small Canadian house is an average, or even medium-large, dutch house.)
6) more moderate weather.  Spring and fall seem to be very long seasons here.
7) online shopping.  Oops!  A lot of websites or businesses offer free delivery (within a couple days), and I can often find better prices for certain products online.  It's also a bit more difficult to lug home a large item (such as a high chair or a big box of diapers) than it is to have it delivered to my front door.  Hello... this is a win-win situation!
8) eating bread every day, and knowing that it's fairly healthy.
9) hardwood & tile floors in the main living areas.
10) a good pair of all-purpose boots.