Kraam describes something that has to do with the 6 weeks following the delivery of a baby. A kraamvrouw is the woman that just gave birth. The kraamtijd is the six weeks following the delivery. A kraamvisit is when a close friend or family member comes to visit sometime following the birth. And possibly my favourite, kraamzorg is an organization that provides an in-home nurse for a week or so following the birth.
A "kraamvisit" is when someone comes during the first 6 weeks, for the purpose of visiting (or seeing) the baby and mother. Just like all Dutch visits, there is always coffee, tea and some kind of treat offered to the guests. The day (and week) after I gave birth, I was in bed (all day for a few days), and I was not thrilled at all about the idea of people coming to visit. I felt like I was in no condition to be seen, and I didn't have much energy to visit at all, but I did want to share the joy of a new baby with others. However, I knew this was how things work here, and Martin and Erna and some other family members helped a lot with hosting the visitors. One thing I was surprised by was the fact that when people come for a kraamvisit, they always bring a gift. Our little guy received a lot of clothes, toys and other essential and fun things, from so many family members and friends. I absolutely didn't expect this at all! No wonder baby showers are not common here! We got "showered" during these kraamvisits. Although it's humbling to be seen in such rough shape, sharing the joy of a brand new life is something that makes family and friendship bonds stronger.
A "kraamvisit" is when someone comes during the first 6 weeks, for the purpose of visiting (or seeing) the baby and mother. Just like all Dutch visits, there is always coffee, tea and some kind of treat offered to the guests. The day (and week) after I gave birth, I was in bed (all day for a few days), and I was not thrilled at all about the idea of people coming to visit. I felt like I was in no condition to be seen, and I didn't have much energy to visit at all, but I did want to share the joy of a new baby with others. However, I knew this was how things work here, and Martin and Erna and some other family members helped a lot with hosting the visitors. One thing I was surprised by was the fact that when people come for a kraamvisit, they always bring a gift. Our little guy received a lot of clothes, toys and other essential and fun things, from so many family members and friends. I absolutely didn't expect this at all! No wonder baby showers are not common here! We got "showered" during these kraamvisits. Although it's humbling to be seen in such rough shape, sharing the joy of a brand new life is something that makes family and friendship bonds stronger.
This is by far my most personal post yet, because this is one cultural difference that has affected me and my experience here quite a bit. This could be lengthy, but here is my story about kraamzorg.
A month or so before our due date, a representative from the kraamzorg organization that we had signed up with came to meet us and explain how things would work. She explained that since we can't schedule the day and time of births, they can't make any guarantees about when someone would be free to help, or how many hours we would be given. We would pay 4 Euros per hour that someone was here, and our insurance company would pay the rest. We would be allowed 50 hours of help within the 8 days immediately following the delivery, as long as someone was available.
Just before 3am on Monday morning, after about 8 hours of labour, the midwife turned to Martin and said "now's the time to call the kraamzorg." A few minutes later, our little boy was born. (This is another story which I won't blog about but I'm always happy to share it.) 45 minutes after he was born, Erna showed up. Erna was our "kraamhulp". She was just lovely! For the 8 days following the delivery, Erna was at our house from about 8am-4pm. She changed diapers, made and brought food to me, did laundry, cleaned, helped host visitors, showed us how to bathe our new baby, kept a journal about every day's happenings... and the list goes on. There are two things that I will always remember very clearly, and I'm so thankful for. Erna loved doing what she did. Technically, she could have really just sat at our kitchen table all day, reading magazines... but she chose to keep looking for things to do that would be helpful. After making sure that our baby and myself were all taken care of, she cleaned, and even cooked some meals for us to eat after she left.
The second thing that I won't forget is how helpful she was by explaining things. She was able to explain that the dots or rashes that we saw were OK, and that the baby acne was caused by hormonal changes, and it was OK. She showed us different ways to burp our little guy, and helped with feeding. She also warned us about what was coming next, and what we should look out for. She mentioned some things that we might notice, and told us what was OK, how to handle it, and how to tell if something was wrong. I will always remember our third night. As Erna was saying good-bye for the night, she said something like this: "just so you know, there is a special name for days 3 and 4 after the birth... these days are normally really hard for the mother because she is getting exhausted and has a whole lot of hormonal changes around this time. You might feel really tired and cry a lot. Just remember that it is OK, and I will be back at eight o'clock tomorrow morning." I was SO thankful to be given a heads' up on so many things, like this.
I was recently watching a documentary on birds, and they showed a "kraam" bird-- that's another name for stork... of course!
The second thing that I won't forget is how helpful she was by explaining things. She was able to explain that the dots or rashes that we saw were OK, and that the baby acne was caused by hormonal changes, and it was OK. She showed us different ways to burp our little guy, and helped with feeding. She also warned us about what was coming next, and what we should look out for. She mentioned some things that we might notice, and told us what was OK, how to handle it, and how to tell if something was wrong. I will always remember our third night. As Erna was saying good-bye for the night, she said something like this: "just so you know, there is a special name for days 3 and 4 after the birth... these days are normally really hard for the mother because she is getting exhausted and has a whole lot of hormonal changes around this time. You might feel really tired and cry a lot. Just remember that it is OK, and I will be back at eight o'clock tomorrow morning." I was SO thankful to be given a heads' up on so many things, like this.
I was recently watching a documentary on birds, and they showed a "kraam" bird-- that's another name for stork... of course!
I love this. I love your honesty, and I love you.
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